Bruce Willis needs to help me restore the Chrysler Building

He did a piss-poor job of stopping the meteors from destroying the top-half of the darn thing. I doubt Mr. Willis even considered the amount of time, energy and sweat that went into restoring the natural beauty of the Chrysler Building the last time something beat the heck out of it.

If he did, and still didn't care enough to keep an 8-ton space rock from hitting it? Well, me and Bruce are going to have words.

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Zombies visit; yet more building restoration

Will Smith saved us from the zombie apocalypse, but guess who has to clean up after him? That's right, yours truly, the building restoration master. I didn't expect zombies to be polite about destroying my beautiful city, but I would've hoped they'd at least left the roofs alone. That's hard work, restoring a roof of a big ol' building.



Thanks for saving the world and all, Will, but next time, make the zombies allergic to knocking down buildings. Thanks.



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Aliens, again.

You can't see it, but this is Tom Cruise reacting to the erasure of all my building restoration work on downtown NYC. By? Aliens. Again. So boring.

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Now we're restoring buildings in the cold.

Well this time, we can only blame ourselves. Why didn't I think of this the day after yesterday? I'm busy at work, restoring buildings, for one. There's nothing more frustrating than restoring the Chrysler Building, only to see it ruined by a giant tidal wave followed by spontaneous freezing.

Jake Gylenhall warned us, but ultimately we had to go out and restore those buildings, even in the freezing cold. He was right about one thing - those wolves are hungry. And mean.



If only we'd listened to Al Gore! Well, I'm off to go restore the New York Public library and play with the penguins.



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Someone tell that damn gorilla to get off; I'm trying to restore a building over here

Here I am, almost finished with restoring the Empire State Building, when this stupid monkey climbs up and starts knocking out windows & breaking buttresses, all while holding this poor blonde lady. Talk about annoying!

Funny thing is, the porter told me the exact same thing happened like fifty years ago to another building restoration expert! Guy was repairing some bird damage when another giant ape climbed the building with another blonde dame. Poor thing ended up shot to pieces. I guess that's what you get when you keep a man from finishing his building restoration.



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More building restoration, thanks to the aliens from Independence Day

Yep. Thanks a lot, aliens. Really appreciate that assist on the whole blowing up the empire state building. Great job. Now we've got to restore the entire building to its original luster so it can be blown up next week by... super villains? Who knows.

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The Cloverfield monster building restoration

All over new york, people are restoring buildings. Why? Because New York keeps getting attacked by monsters.



The restoration process is an expensive one. When that weird looking monster from Cloverfield came through and blew the hell out of downtown, we all pledged we'd rebuild. But think of the billions of dollars that stupid thing did just with its tail!

On one hand, it's nice to see everyone working together to rebuild our buildings. I mean, building restoration is now one of the most profitable industries to work in! On the other hand, it's annoying because you know it's just a few months before some other monster comes blowing through town, and then it's back to restoring buildings all day.

Sigh.

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