Godzilla hates York Restoration Corporation

It's true: Godzilla's a big jerk.



Poor guy's already had a crappy day. He works in an office in Manhattan! He's stressed out, his workplace probably just got reorganized, and now Godzilla has the guff to not only steal his cab, but also crush the poor office worker? C'mon.

Office guy works in Queens. He's tired of his suck-up boss brown nosing the CEO. He's got a mortgage and kids and a 401K. Geez, Godzilla, give him a break.

York Restoration worked along side me to fix Godzilla's handiwork. For our troubles, Godzilla signed our email accounts up for spam and tried to put our apartments on the market, flooding our phones with duped apartment-seekers making offers. It was absolute heck to get our lives put back together after Godzilla's nasty pranks!

Next time, Godzilla, get someone besides Roland Emerich and Matthew Broderick to give you "pranking" advice. That stuff was over the line, pal.

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Devil-kin and Monsters Creating More Building Restoration Work

This big green thing is about to make a whole bunch of building restoration work for me!

Well then, guess what time it is? Looks to me like it's New York restoration time! Buildings, bridges, streets, utilities - all looking like they'll need restoration experts like myself trooping in to clean up after another monster/alien/devil-kin/explosion.

Another explosion. Sigh

Ah well, at least I have regular work, right? Can't complain too much. It's just - it's painful to see your hard work torn down time after time, day after day. New York restoration is often a thankless job, or else why would they continuously tear down my efforts? It's enough to make a building restoration expert like myself question his dedication.

And get this - now even video games are starting to blow up New York. Really?!? Seriously? Come on, guys - give New York restoration a break, please.

Sigh. Until that day, I'll be over here, quietly cleaning up the city.

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Someone made a nice compilation of all my work being undone

Nicely done, Entertainment Weekly! Only a few instances of total destruction are missing from this collection of the world's tendency to undo my constant reconstruction in a matter of minutes.

Well, we all gotta make a living somehow, and unfortunately, mine's picking up the pieces after another jolly space monster romps through the best city in the world.

So what's the deal? Let's get down to brass tacks here. Why the heck does everyone want to point a giant wave at Times Square (other than the ubiquitous annoying tourists)? Why float all your angry aliens over the happy Apple? There's some kind of psychology going on, and as happy as my restoration company is to have lots of business, we're all a little tired of restoring buildings - especially the same buildings - over and over.

Let's send in the celebrity psychologists. We need answers.



DR LEO MARVIN!!!

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Bruce Willis needs to help me restore the Chrysler Building

He did a piss-poor job of stopping the meteors from destroying the top-half of the darn thing. I doubt Mr. Willis even considered the amount of time, energy and sweat that went into restoring the natural beauty of the Chrysler Building the last time something beat the heck out of it.

If he did, and still didn't care enough to keep an 8-ton space rock from hitting it? Well, me and Bruce are going to have words.

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Batman doesn't protect Gotham City building restoration experts very well

Work a little harder, big guy.

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