Documenting my tireless work for the greatest restoration company in the world.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Book of Eli - threatening Queens with implied apocalypse - get past York Restoration Corporation first

Lots of stylized violence and Dark Ages technology can't keep the Big Apple down. I could believe Training Day, Mr. Washington, but anything that plays off the US as a giant deserted wasteland, filled with sand and guys with knives angled like boomerangs sorely underestimates my and York Restoration's dedication to keeping New York upright and filled with buildings.

No, sir! Not without that good fight! We'll pound the book-burners and sand-blowers that Universal apparently hired to create a fake beach with no water. Not without that good fight. Queens shall live on.

You see, York and I are both avid book collectors in addition to being super-human building restoration experts. Queen's on lockdown, Manhattan's cooler than Cuba, heck - even Staten Island can rest easy - we rebuild the buildings AND protect the literature.

I keep a secret vault deep within the earth. York Restoration Corporation might or might not have its own equivalent hidden in a fortress on a jungle island, possibly in a fortress inside a volcano. Possibly.

I refuse to gossip.

Suffice to say, New York, you can rest easy knowing Hollywood and Denzel Washington won't be responsible for turning Long Island City into a book-less Mojave. Not on our watch.


No comments:

Post a Comment