York Restoration Corporation's been warned: more New York destruction is on the way

Looks like we'll be staring down JJ Abram's shaky-cam monster once again, thanks to a title tentatively titled "Cloverfield 2: Hipster Kids Still Inexplicably Own Park-View Columbus Circle Apartments on the 56th Floor of a Brand New Building."

That greasy, slimy, octo-limbed thing tore the hell out of my most recent york restorations. Corporations will need to be brought in to make sure this thing doesn't get too out of hand.

I mean, what's the deal - I thought we took care of both the annoying trustfund kids AND the monster with that nuke at the end. Was it all for naught? Did we drop the big one on the world's best city, and then rebuild it in the space of a few days, all to let this jerk who can't compose a cogent narrative (even with the space and time 6 seasons' worth of storytelling allows) send another monster kicking and birthing other little annoying monsters who cause spontaneous subconjuctival hemorrhages (and other nastiness, like killing off the sole interesting character) through our city?

I say no!

Go away, JJ. We don't want your stringy version of sci-fi dropping elephant-sized deuces all over Central Park again. Thanks.

This post brought to you by York Restoration Corporation

Devil-kin and Monsters Creating More Building Restoration Work

This big green thing is about to make a whole bunch of building restoration work for me!

Well then, guess what time it is? Looks to me like it's New York restoration time! Buildings, bridges, streets, utilities - all looking like they'll need restoration experts like myself trooping in to clean up after another monster/alien/devil-kin/explosion.

Another explosion. Sigh

Ah well, at least I have regular work, right? Can't complain too much. It's just - it's painful to see your hard work torn down time after time, day after day. New York restoration is often a thankless job, or else why would they continuously tear down my efforts? It's enough to make a building restoration expert like myself question his dedication.

And get this - now even video games are starting to blow up New York. Really?!? Seriously? Come on, guys - give New York restoration a break, please.

Sigh. Until that day, I'll be over here, quietly cleaning up the city.

This entry brought to you by York Restoration Company

The Cloverfield monster building restoration

All over new york, people are restoring buildings. Why? Because New York keeps getting attacked by monsters.



The restoration process is an expensive one. When that weird looking monster from Cloverfield came through and blew the hell out of downtown, we all pledged we'd rebuild. But think of the billions of dollars that stupid thing did just with its tail!

On one hand, it's nice to see everyone working together to rebuild our buildings. I mean, building restoration is now one of the most profitable industries to work in! On the other hand, it's annoying because you know it's just a few months before some other monster comes blowing through town, and then it's back to restoring buildings all day.

Sigh.

This entry brought to you by York Restoration Corp