Sex and the City destroys NYC, my building restoration

Ok, I cheated a little here, but the very existence of these people makes me hate life. Even, sometimes, makes me hate... building restoration. I didn't think that could ever happen, but here we are. I pray someday someone will have the sense to make these aberrations disappear permanently, but until that day, I'll keep a salt lick in the back of my building restoration van. Just in case.

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When worlds collide... building restoration is needed

About 50 years ago, a rogue planet collided with Earth. Strangely enough, we survived as a species, but poor New York City, for some reason, was flooded with water. This was when I was knee-high to a grasshopper, barely able to swing a hammer to help my dad restore Chomper's dog house. That was a fine, early step in my long journey towards becoming the world's best building restoration expert.

Anyway, I remember we were in the backyard of my dad's house out in Queens when the klaxon went off. It was the first time I can remember my pa being called into the line of duty. "Well, son," he said. "Looks like your old man is gonna have to go put the big city back in order again."

And off he went. He's my inspiration, the reason I get up every day. I keep restoring Manhattan's buildings with the dream that I, someday, could be considered to be as great a building restoration expert as he.

Love ya, old man.

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Snake Plissken - the near future's next best building restorer

Sure, he turns most of New York into a crumbling wasteland, but when some jerk transforms my city into a giant prison? I'd say a crumbling wasteland is an improvement. It's a blank slate! A piece of paper is not the absence of something, but the open vessel upon which limitless potential is waiting to be unlocked. Mr. Plissken gets that. He'll be shipped off to Los Angeles before he gets a chance to truly restore New York to its original glory (as I'm sure he would, being a professional building restoration expert like myself), but who knows? Maybe he'll get a chance to come back and make another sequel. Kurt Russel isn't exactly raking in the jobs right now.

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